Winners Use A BlackBerry

Cameron White Classic

It may have escaped your notice if you are outside the UK but we have just had a General Election. This is a once every 5 year voting festival where we get to decide who we want to tell us what to do for another 5 years and then moan about our choice incessantly afterwards.

But hey, that’s democracy.

So, who won?

Well, there were 2 main candidates. Long term BlackBerrian and incumbent Conservative Party Prime Minister David Cameron (pictured with a White Classic that we lovingly have given him) and a man representing the Labour Party called Ed Miliband.

Ed, despite the rosy indications of opinion polls, unfortunately, had little chance of winning. How do we know? Because, during the campaign it became apparent that Ed was an iPhonian.

But worse than that.

Ed is an iDiot.

Why so?

During the election campaign Ed was doing rather well in the opinion polls. Well enough that his aides thought it was high time he put aside childish things and got himself used to the phone that he would have to use if he were Prime Minister. He’d have to use a proper big boys phone. One that didn’t leak his personal details all over the place. One where he would not put the country at risk in using it as every man and his dog could listen in to his conversations or read all his emails. In short, they gave Ed a BlackBerry.

Ed, showing the kind of disturbing levels of iGnorance that would eventually cost him the election then went on UK national radio station Absolute Radio and said this, as reported, amongst others, by Digital Trends:

With the General Election around the corner, Miliband was obsessed with his iPhone, constantly checking Twitter and different political commentary on the smartphone. As a way to tear his eyes away from the handset, Miliband decided to use a BlackBerry smartphone because of its “limited functionality.” Ouch.

“The good thing about a BlackBerry — I’m going to insult the BlackBerry makers now — is that it’s harder to do those things, and so it’s more limited functionality,” said Miliband.

Dear God.

Yes, all that ‘limited functionality’ that serves world leaders so badly. All those messages appearing in the Hub, just one swipe away, with Notifications begging to be answered, not sat splattered over various apps wondering when you’ll get to them. All that tiresome battery life, rather than sitting in the House of Commons complaining that there’s no plug point underneath your seat. And all that signal strength, after all, who’d want to actually make a phone call as Prime Minister???

Inevitably, of course, Ed lost very badly and has now resigned as leader of the Labour Party so someone else can have a go. He is free to shuffle off into obscurity and, as this picture shows, can merrily go back to his beloved iPhone and fade away with it into utter insignificance:

ed miliband iphone

Here’s the truth.

Those who settle for mediocrity are happy with an iPhone.

Winners use a BlackBerry.


Bigglybobblyboo is a legend almost nowhere at all. He is a founder member of UTB and spends his spare time taking out his anger at the world with a fishfork and a spatula. He is also a Cribbage Master, having won 1 fight online as the other guy refused to turn up out of fear for his life.

  • BB Racer !!

    Twitter….Twitter…Twitter…my my, my apologies but watching iPhone users using iOS email and iOS Attachment email is like watching useless work in progress ! Twitter twitter did this guy every use email until he got his BlackBerry ? Lol.

  • miker476

    The only “limited functionality” is with the iPhone he is using …

  • Anthony

    Oh, that iDiot in the news a while ago was Ed Millipede. locco_smiley_33

  • Lol! What a tool! Limited functionality. Unbelievable. He is utterly clueless. You guys across the pond really dodged a bullet. I use the shit out of twitter. Sharing links, pics, getting actionable notifications, etc. etc. So easy! What an asshat.

  • mscloutier

    I just shared this post on my BlackBerry with two simple taps! Oh I’m sorry that’s not possible on a BlackBerry. What an iDiot!

  • ray689

    Come on guys, can you really blame him? It does take half a brain to operate a BlackBerry as opposed to an iphone so I can see how he would think it limited. In these cases however, it’s the user who is limited.


    This is the type of clot who would be trapped in a room because the door opened with a ‘pull’ instead of the ‘push’ he was used to.

    It is becoming ever more tiresome to hear these apple simpletons deride BlackBerry phones, because they are too stupid to adapt to a phone without the ‘home’ button.

    Wise-up i-diots. The world is changing and you should try to keep up. ( an no there is no app for that. Just grey matter)

  • razrrob

    Whiners use WP, Android, and Apple

  • Reverend Grim

    If running the country comes down to the security of it then David Cameron with a BlackBerry will always win over (dumb) Ed and his iPhone! Ed certainly needs his ‘Ed’ testing!

  • bartron

    So Cameron can successfully run a country with a BlackBerry, but Miliband cannot run a successful election campaign with an iPhone. That’s definitely not surprising. I mean, it’s not surprising to those who are not thoroughly intoxicated on the Apple KoolAid.

    It’s really quite telling. The main things you do with your phone on election campaigns is make calls, tons of messaging, lots of social media, schedule events, tasks and meetings, and take photos. According to the iSheep, the iPhone is the best at that, and they’ll even claim it’s enterprise worthy. But that’s because they’ve either never used a BB10 device, or they’re completely drunk on the Apple KoolAid and have thus reached an epic level of denial. And as Miliband has just showed us, that will ultimately result in their failure.

  • Berry_Goooood

    The iDiots over at Bullshiiiit Garbage Recycler had a field day with this one. Apparently the morons the write for the site are clueless about BB10 and the functionality, including Twitter and the awesome browser… but hey, they are “all things tech”. SMFH