Let’s face it, the iPhone’s battery life is an absolute joke.
So much so, that even iPhonians have a sort of gallows humour about how poor it is. Despite the fact that there is so much else wrong with their platform of choice it really is the #1 aspect that sticks out and, to be fair, I don’t blame them. They’ve paid a load of money for what they thought was the best in the business.
And, it turns out it’s the worst.
But, living in hope, they cling on to the thought that ‘Apple are aware of it, they won’t let me down, you see, the next upgrade will fix it’.
Unfortunately, it won’t. The iPhone 6 will be a bigger phone with a tiny increase in battery size which will have as crappy a performance as it’s predecessors. Maybe even worse. And why? Because Apple want it to be thin, not functional, goes the party line.
The truth is Apple want the battery to be cheap and for you to not care and pay through the nose for the brand.
Fear not though my iPhonian friends, UTB is here to help out with the assistance of a handy website Payette Forward who, last year when you all complained about it on the 5S, came up with a handy list.
So, if YOU are a poor unfortunate, trapped in the world of iPhonia (or should that be Hotel California) and desperately hoping there’s a way to wriggle free of that measly battery life, here you go. Oh, before we start Payette Forward said this at the beginning of their article:
Apple has created a website that explains their official stance on how to “optimize” your iPhone battery. Unfortunately, their instructions are rather wordy and don’t really get to the heart of the issue. In case you’re interested in checking that out, here’s a link to the official iPhone battery page on Apple’s website.
Don’t bother clicking the link (the URL is http://www.apple.com/batteries/iphone.html erm, it doesn’t exist anymore…
Never mind, UTB is here!
1) Turn Off Push Email.
Yes, it must be very annoying to get emails straight away. So you can turn that off. best to wait for a bit.
2) Turn off ALL Location Services
It would seem that there are at least 3 things you have to do here as, would you believe (shock horror) ‘Apple Has Been tracking You Everywhere You Go’. So get in deep and turn that lot off too.
3) Diagnostics & Usage
Yes, not content with wanting to know where you are, Apple are getting a constant feed of every button you press. Best to ‘open up Diagnostics & Usage and Turn Off the automatic stream of data that it’s sending to Apple.’
4) Close Your Apps
Oh, those pesky apps! The whole OS is designed around you forgetting about them so ‘once every couple of days Double tap the Home Button (the round circular button just under the display) and swipe up on each app to flick it off the top of the screen. This doesn’t delete your apps, it just clears them from the application memory. Apple’s official line on this is that apps have 10 seconds after you close them to go into a dormant mode, where they sleep happily until they are retrieved. In actuality, especially since all apps are not created equal, often times a battery issue is the result of an app crashing in the background. The app should have closed, but it didn’t.’ If your phone is getting hot it’s a crashing app that’s to blame so off you go to Diagnostics again to try and find the culprit.
5) Turn It Off Once A Week (The Right Way)
Yes, there’s a wrong way. So don’t do that, ‘hold the top power button for a few seconds, sliding to power off, and turn it back on, many of the processes that you don’t see running on your phone stop and start up fresh again.’
6) Choose Which Apps Can Run In The Background
Unfortunately there’s loads beavering away eating up what meagre battery life you had in the beginning anyway. So, time to head off to ‘Settings -> General -> Background App Refresh’ and mess around with that for a bit.
7) Turn Off Auto Brightness
Yes, there’s a sensor on your baby which decides how bright your phone should be regardless of what you think. Not only is it probably wrong but it eats up your tiny resources constantly checking the fact hat it wants to annoy you. So turn that off as well.
8) Don’t Restore From An iTunes Backup – Use iCloud Instead!
If, even after you’ve tried all those then maybe the best thing to do to stop all the carry on in the background is to run a back up restore. But, be careful! There’s a right and wrong way here too. ‘Very often, the same glitch that your phone is experiencing right now gets backed up to iTunes, and after you restore your iPhone the same problem comes back. You think you have a broken phone, but what you’ve done is simply restore the same problem you began with.’ Whoops-a-daisy! So, best to restore from iCloud although you may get this message ‘Not Enough Storage – This iPhone cannot be backed up because there is not enough iCloud storage available. You can manage your storage in Settings.’
9) Factory Reset The Phone
Yes, sometimes it’s best to scrap everything and start again: ‘It’s okay to turn on iCloud and redownload your contacts, calendars, reminders, bookmarks, etc., but if the glitch is too deep and it’s in all the backups, sometimes you just have to start fresh.’ And, by the way, don’t march into an Apple store expecting help, you’ll find it’s YOUR fault for downloading those apps, ‘Apple techs are trained to never believe a battery issue is an issue with the physical battery. here’s a quick test that diagnoses your battery and in all the time I worked for Apple, I think I saw two iPhones fail the battery test. If the iPhone doesn’t fail the test, your battery isn’t going to be replaced.’
In other words, the crappy battery you originally got isn’t going to be replaced with another crappy battery because they KNOW it’s a crappy battery so have to blame their crappy software for it but won’t blame themselves so…
It’s all your fault.
10) Find Someone With A BlackBerry
Chances are that, if you are in the US, this could be tough. But if you do spot someone with a BlackBerry ask them nicely if they will charge your phone for you from their phone. In the true spirit of brotherhood they may let you have some of what they have tons to spare – power.
Here’s a handy video:
11) Just Give Up And Buy A BlackBerry
Here’s the funny thing. You don’t get ANY of these issues with a BlackBerry 10 device. It is designed to communicate and has THE most efficient OS on the market today, never mind the battery it will be packing which is FAR bigger, in terms of capaciy, than anything you could possibly dream of.
2 DAYS normal usage on a BlackBerry Z30 (yep – with all those apps you have too).
Would you like that?
Doesn’t that sound better?
So, if you are an iPhonian please feel free to try all these handy tips – you’re welcome.
But the honest truth is, that you won’t fix any of them until you leave Apple.
And buy a BlackBerry.
Oh, and if you are a BlackBerrian reading this, Google ‘iPhone Low Battery’ and gaze in wonder…