‘REVEALED: Apple fanbois are ‘MENTALLY UNSTABLE’ – iShop staff’ – The Register Misses The Point

missing the point

Far be it for a BlackBerrian to get embroiled in such a bizarre headline but, as you will see, The Register, in deciding to take an iron bar to Apple Store workers who complain about their customers has rather missed the point.

What follows is an interesting take on a Reddit post made by an Apple employee – here’s what The Register had to say:

Apple iSlaves have joined together to publish a scathing indictment of customers who graze at the fruity firm’s retail stores.

A number of embittered Apple employees have contributed to a Reddit thread called Confessions of an Apple Store Worker, which was started by an anonymous employee called FruitStandSlave.

Apple customers were described as “adult toddlers” and “assholes” stuffed full of “entitlement”.

Writing in the shiny-happy, Prozac-pumped style you’d expect of an Apple Store worker, Mr Slave said arguments with angry customers were a “daily occurrence”.

However, he deviated notably from the Cupertino-approved tone during several bouts of blatant sexism, slamming Apple for failing to employ “hot girls”.

We have expunged the emoticons, emojis and goodness-knows-what-elseies from the posts to avoid offending the delicate sensibilities of El Reg’s readers.

“They say Apple guys make the best boyfriends,” Mr Slave wrote. “To be honest, when it comes to hot girls, there’s something called the Apple effect. Since we see these girls so much, someone that is mediocre looking turns into a 8. We don’t have many hot girls.”

He also discussed day-to-day trench warfare with Apple customers.

“When the person attacks me personally, I don’t tolerate that, and sometimes you need to give them a taste of their own medicine,” he roared.

Mr Slave also made the rather remarkable claim that although he works as a technician, it’s not your iThings he’ll be fixing.

“My job is to make you happy with your product, not to actually fix your product, more to fix the relationship you have with the brand,” he said.

Despite all of this, the worker known as FruitStandSlave is almost unbearably smug about his life.

“I make some decent money, have a beautiful girlfriend and a good pool of savings,” he beamed.

It’s enough to make you buy a boring old PC.

A number of other iSlaves also joined in with the fanboi-bashing.

“People don’t want to deal with adult toddlers,” said one worker. “Just like real ones, they lean towards hitting, or even greater tantrums, to get their way/explode out since they are mentally unstable to begin with. Not the best recipe for a good day.”

One Genius bar employee continued: “It pained me every time an asshole asked for the manager and got what they wanted. Meanwhile, all the nice people (who actually spend money) get screwed. You know it’s common because society even has a saying for it — the squeaky wheel gets the grease.”

Strong stuff!

But here’s the problem. I’ve been through the Reddit thread quoted by the author and I don’t quite recognise what he’s getting at in the original OP – here it is:

Hello there,
This is just something I wanted to post and just to start off, my opinions are my own and do not represent the company. I am using a throw away account because, I could get fired for using my real name and information. I work in the retail store as a tech. My job is to make you happy with your product, not to actually fix your product, more to fix the relationship you have with the brand. We.. well most of us… focus on making you happy. If you come in we try and listen, if you respect us, we respect you…. even if you don’t respect us, we will listen to you, align to your needs and at the end of the day, try to make you happy (unless you ask for something ridiculous like a free product or a discount for your situation). Just to touch on that, in retail stores, we are very limited to what we can do, we treat every customer equally, so when you step for in to the retail side of our business and you have business needs, you will be treated like a retail customer. This really goes out to the business owner who honestly feel that their time is much more important that anyone else’s and want support that second. For you we have services that are free that will take care of you, so next just ask what we can do for businesses, we have a team dedicated just for you, they can put stuff aside and offer volume discount when you meet a specific tier. Ill use discount very loosely because to us anything below retail price is a discount, even if its just 2%. Mainly we don’t go ahead and discount product or reward people for bad behaviour because we would have to do that for every customer. Now there are exceptions to every rule, but we deal with those on a case by case situation. My word of advise, be humble, be understanding, and don’t be entitled. Don’t list how loyal you are, because you may have $5000 to spend on equipment, but that person that could only afford a $50 iPod shuffle equally is important to us.

Holiday season is coming, you know what that means? A tonne of people walking in to our stores and looking to purchase or receive service. But keep in mind that yes we do hire more people to support, there will never be enough. regardless there will always be a queue. When looking for support look for a person holding an iPad, they normally are the gatekeepers to someone that can help you out. If you reserve a product, let them know ahead of time, and know that you kind of can’t change your mind when you walk in store, because what you reserved was put aside for you. There is always a pile of device set aside just incase you buy a device and it is defective, we have something to replace it with. But thats exactly why they are there, to just be put a side, just incase something goes wrong.

If you are going in to the store for any kind of service, book an appointment. Please listen to me when I say this, we want to take care of everyone. Even if you think its a “quick swap” it actually isn’t. The paper work alone takes about 5 to 6 minutes to draft up and the appointment only lasts 10. meaning you “quick issue” is a whole appointment time. Now emergencies happen, if your device doesn’t power on and it just happened, yes come in the store for a walk in. But if your phone has not been working for weeks, waiting a couple more days for an appointment should not inconvenience you, lets be honest. If you actually walk in to the store for an appointment and you are late… by 7 minutes, your 10 minute appointment, it will be cancelled, regardless if you called or got stuck in traffic. But, we will still do our best to squeeze back in. Technicians are always on your side, we don’t want you to spend money, repairs are expensive! so purchasing apple care is always better, but if you can’t afford it or don’t want to purchase apple care, just know electronics break down, but warranty only covers you for a specific time. We are very black and white with our coverage, the system, even one day out of warranty will charge a customer for services. If your issue started months prior, you had a lot of time to come in, we can’t reward laziness or just ignorance. That was harsh for me to say, buts its happened, someone might have an issue for months and decides to come in when its most convent to them or after the warranty has expired. IF you can not come in to the store, just call Apple, have it documented, it will only help you out. Then we can justify the steps we took to cover a paid replacement.

For some reason if things don’t go your way, please do not make a fuss about it by screaming out loud or throwing your stuff on the floor, or threatening the employee. They literally can not override anything, a manager will always take that what the technician has to say in to consideration, because at the end of the day, they are the actual experts. We go through a lot of training to help everyone out.
I have run out of time in this class to type, sorry about any errors but if you have any question or advise. Comment or PM. I will do my best to help you out in anyway I can.

Firstly, I can’t see any reference to iPhonians being ‘Mentally Unstable’ so I suppose you would have to judge that for yourself in your everyday lives (maybe a quick visit to BGR would help).

Secondly, it’s very nice of The Register to be the average iPhonians champion but…


Anyone would think the product was sub-standard or something?

Badly built?

Poor software?

Maybe even a bit bendy?

If iPhonians are fed up with the service they receive then there’s one SURE FIRE way of never having to go through all that again.



Bigglybobblyboo is a legend almost nowhere at all. He is a founder member of UTB and spends his spare time taking out his anger at the world with a fishfork and a spatula. He is also a Cribbage Master, having won 1 fight online as the other guy refused to turn up out of fear for his life.