Rev Grim Preaches… If Apple Listened…

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Hello there my faithful congregation, its that time of the week that needs a sermon from your caring Reverend Grim.

It seems that someone out there thinks I’m the head of some all knowing secret organization that doesn’t exist (well, it does but if I tell you it does I will have to kill you, BlackBerrians, you didn’t read that last bit, Sheeple, I’ll see you soon!) you see I’ve had one of my subscribers asking to join the United Temple of BlackBerry, not UTB, as my “group” is Illuminati and he “want’s to sell his soul to the devil”

Well, I have tried leading him down the right path to selling his soul to the ‘proverbial devil’ by suggesting he buy an iPhone or Android device (his reply was a little disturbing but I think I know what he meant) “I own a BlackBerry Q5 Android phone” … am I right in thinking he means he doesn’t need an android because his Q5 runs Android apps or am I missing something?

Anyway, I’m sure it will pan out alright, after all no one reads these blogs of mine or takes notice, that’s why my Ice Bucket Challenge wasn’t taken up by Lucas at N4BB or Kevin at CB, we all knew PansyPants iDiot at BGR wasn’t going to do it, after all, there’s no Apple logo on ice cubes! Well, not at least yet there’s not but just maybe…

Apple page

Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, Apple have (not) been reading my BBM channel!

Now they seem to have taken note of what I have been saying about them not being iNnovative (lol) and done something about it!

We will have all new iProducts!

The iCamera, overly priced at $2,495 BUT with the advantage of not needing a memory card because all your photographs, clothed and nudes, will be uploaded to the iCloud to share with everyone!

The all new iWash! It looks amazing, it’s expensive, it’s not a copy of anything at all and it will upload any stained clothing to the NSA for analysis!

The iBarrow, just what all you green fingered lot need! looks like an expensive mix of rare metal compounds but really made of cheap plastic that won’t hold a few weeds from the garden BUT looks so good you’re neighbors¬† will envy you and your bank manager will ring you!

The iLight, well, what can be said here? This will look amazing it any room over the festive period and will be the talk of the town! Mainly because everyone is so pleased the family got out of the house safely but really, they should have known it was for decorative purposes only…

You can’t forget iSing, that’s right, get this beauty for any occasion that you want to embarrass yourself and friends! make sure you sync it to your Apple Pippin ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_Pippin) for a truly amazing singing sensation!

And of course, the iNuke! I’m a bit upset with what they have written for that, not available for the general population but a friendly warning to Reverend Grim… seems a bit rude…

It doesn’t look like these iProducts will be available for a while, I’m guessing they will be released sometime after the iWatch that’s constantly getting delayed (maybe if you treated your staff better they wouldn’t have all walked out and it would be on time!)

Well, my faithful, its been good talking to you again, and before I go I’d personally like to welcome our newest member to the United Temple of BlackBerry, Brother BabyBobblyBoo! Yes our very own Brother BigglyBobblyBoo has had more offspring! The little lad came to the world holding a Z10 and demanding milk from mummy and a Passport from Daddy! The youth of today!

So, until next time, forget the iPhone6 launch on the 9th September, there’s a much bigger occasion, much more important than an old phone that’s been made bigger… it’s … MY BIRTHDAY! And I want cake! Another plus, I will be getting my new PC from Mrs Grim and the Grimlets so this will be my final blog from this tired old PC and my next will be on my super dooper fast PC, not that it will make my blogs any better of faster to type or even give you any better content, it will just mean I have less chance of throwing the screen out the window every time it crashes!

Fair well for now, but remember the forums, remember my channel C000117D3, remember @CRAPPLEBASING and most importantly… remember my card on the 9th!

Reverend Grim out!

Reverend Grim

Who is Reverend Grim? Not many people know. He has a channel on BBMC C000117D3 where he smites the rotten Apple. He has a photographic channel too C0045B753 seeing as he's actually a photographer. All we know is that he preaches the safe, secure word... BLACKBERRY and BB10! He will welcome anyone #BacktoBlack and into the United Temple of BlackBerry for a sermon and a cup of tea, even Brad who doesn't understand a word he says!

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