‘Look I Just Want An iPhone, OK??’


Oh dear, looks like some people are feeling a little defensive.

Back in early 2012 being a BlackBerrian was tough. You were probably the proud owner of a Bold or a Torch (I had a Torch!!) and although you KNEW you still had a device that couldn’t be beaten in terms of communications the little screen and the lack of apps was making it harder and harder to justify sticking by the brand. In comparison, Apple and Android seemed to be moving ahead. There was always something new that you couldn’t have (and a lot of stuff you didn’t want) but BlackBerry seemed OLD.

Until, of course, BlackBerry 10 came along.

But, in the meantime, many, many, MANY people found themselves with but one last retort to taunting iPhonians…

‘Look, I just want a BlackBerry, ok??’

This was understandable. iPhonians, in particular, were dancing around doing Uncle Steve’s Job for him and spreading the iLie far and wide about how THEY had entered the blessed land of iPhonia. A place of milk and honey where battery pulls were a thing of the past and there was an app for everything.

Except handling email of course.

Either way, those BlackBerrians in the know hung around for the oft rumoured BlackBerry 10. Many didn’t. After defending their brand of choice once too often many not in the know finally gave up, handed their privacy, security and even their fingerprint over at the pearly gates to St Tim of Cook and entered the promised land.

Fast forward to 2015.

iOS is looking awfully dated. iPhonians, despite the sales of the iPhone 6 are starting to sense that maybe they are the BlackBerrians of yore. That the iPhone, for all it’s glitz, just like BBOS, is yesterdays news. Nothing new is happening. Android has surpassed what iOS is capable of and BlackBerry 10 is making it look pitiful.

So, what’s the first stage of the brand breakdown?

Well, let’s guess…

Here is a cartoon lovingly depicted on the iPhonian apologists and mouthpiece, iMore:





Rather a weak finish but note what the female character says in the face of ANY criticism of the iPhone.

‘I don’t want a thin phone, I want an iPhone’.

Of course you do, because that’s all that’s left, you see. We know! We’ve been there! But there’s no ‘BlackBerry 10’ moment to hang on for… sp what you gonna do??

The phone is no good. Your peers can’t understand why you are hanging on in there. Particularly since you paid waaaayyy over the odds for it.

Sure, this just means that you don’t want to look a fool, but deep down many of our iPhonian friends are sensing that for them to stick with Apple they demand something new.

What’s the alternative for them?

Well, how about something refreshing?

How about something actually modern??

How about a BlackBerry?

You’d be a fool not to give it a go.

Or an iDiot.


Bigglybobblyboo is a legend almost nowhere at all. He is a founder member of UTB and spends his spare time taking out his anger at the world with a fishfork and a spatula. He is also a Cribbage Master, having won 1 fight online as the other guy refused to turn up out of fear for his life.