Drooling Over The iPhone Makes You Look Like Your Dad Dancing

dad dancing

Whilst some (but not all by any means) in the media thought themselves very trendy by drooling over the latest iPhone launch, the reaction from many on Twitter showed the huge disconnect between what they THINK is going on out there and what is ACTUALLY going on out there.

Indeed, if the Tweets gathered by the, rather excellent Poke website are anything to go by, Apple are losing the ability to fool all of the people all of the time at a rapid rate.

When the zeitgeist (DEF: The Zeitgeist (spirit of the age or spirit of the time) is the intellectual fashion or dominant school of thought that typifies and influences the culture of a particular period in time) turns against you, it takes a whole load of getting back and thiose that don’t swim with the tide and chuckle away to themselves on screen about how clever they are to belittle another product in favour of the one that they THOUGHT everyone wanted…

Well, it’s as cringeworthy as watching your Dad dance.

Contrast what you’ve see on your own screens with some of these Tweets:

WARNING – These Tweets are pretty much exclusively from my homeland, Britain, so you’ll have to excuse the fruity language and prepare yourself for ladles of sarcasm…

I wish the new iPhone 6 had a feature that would slap the shit out of anyone who scrolls through someone’s pictures without asking.

“The bigger screen allows people further away to see that you have an iPhone. Never be mistaken for a poor person again.”

The new iPhone 6 costs £539 in the UK, or £549 if you want it without a U2 album.

Yes! This new iPhone is definitely going to fill the yawning chasm of emptiness at the pit of my being.

A digital watch and a U2 album. It’s like Christmas morning 1984.

Predictive text on the new iPhone is actually pretty awfuTHIS PRODUCT IS AMAZING AND APPLE IS PERFECT. ALL HAIL APPLE.

I want Apple Watch so I can set an alarm to set my alarm on my iPhone to recharge my watch so I can set its alarm for my iPhone recharge.

If I were Apple, I would have launched the iPhone 7 today, saying “we’ve sorted that memory loss problem that the iPhone 6 was causing”

APPLE. Make your new watch charge using kinetic energy from wrist movements, especially for wankers who queue up to buy it.

I’ll make this quick because I’m tweeting from an iPhone, but will the battery lif

Can’t wait till the iPhone 6 charger is unveiled.

They’ve made the iPhone taller and slimmer. Yet more unrealistic standards of beauty.

What if I’m wearing my Apple Watch and I reach for my iPhone 6 and the watch hits my iPhone 6 Plus, which is resting on my iPad? Will I die?

Okay, if these rumours are true & the iPhone 6 does have an inbuilt cup holder then BOOM – game changer.

Gadzooks! The iPhone watch! Just when I got used to telling the time with my iPhone and gave up on a watch!

The subtext for every new iPhone announcement is ‘Your current iPhone is awful and dangerous’

Hopefully, by the time they get to iPhone 26, it’ll be 32″ big, and you’ll be able to watch telly on it.

My home life is easily the worst it’s ever been plus I damaged my penis in a Dyson AirBlade last week. I need this new iPhone to be amazing.

The iPhone 6 launch event: an empty stage. A single, spotlit phone. Suddenly all the doors lock. The phone starts to issue its demands…

Until an #iPhone can vaporise my enemies AND make cheese on toast, I will continue to be nonplussed by Apple’s tedious tinkering

Ugh, can’t believe all you sheep fawning over the latest product released by an evil, sweatshop owning, multinational.
– Sent from my iPhone

Your phone is tiny.
Your wallet is obsolete.
Your watch is an artifact.

Now comes the long dark night of your technological discontent.

Yes, it’s becoming obvious. Without iNnovation you just can’t get away with it anymore and the majority are getting pretty sick of the same tactics for the same old rubbish.

So, next time you see someone on the TV being all smug about how great Apple are, remember these Tweets, have a good cringe and remind yourself that there’s only one person making themselves look a complete tool.

It’s the one on the screen.


Bigglybobblyboo is a legend almost nowhere at all. He is a founder member of UTB and spends his spare time taking out his anger at the world with a fishfork and a spatula. He is also a Cribbage Master, having won 1 fight online as the other guy refused to turn up out of fear for his life.