CrackBerry Kevin Sends Apple Shares Into Freefall

Ex-CrackBerry thingy Kevin Michaluk (no, I don’t know how to pronounce it either) has caused something of a stir within the community as he trotted out to grab himself a gold iPhone 6.


Well… read on…

Kevin is a smart cookie. He knows that very few people are queuing up for the iPhone 6 in comparison to the previous looong lines since it isn’t a very good phone, so as part of his purchase procedure Kevski got some handy photos.

Here he made sure someone else got a shot of his BlackBerry (is that a Passport you cheeky monkey?) as if it was bowing down to the Gods of iPhonia…

CBK Apple 1

In actual fact Kevin was holding it up like Dr Van Helsing to ward off Dracula as he headed into the den…

Just a few short minutes later, Kevin was greeted by the world’s press as he held aloft his prize, a new gold iPhone 6! Naughty Kev then pointed out to everyone on Instagram (probably through the excellent BB10 client iGrann) that there didn’t seem to be anyone else waiting to buy one.

CBK Apple 2

This would explain why he was surrounded by Apple staff who had nothing better to do than give him a round of applause.

Not something he’s been used to on CB for some time.

But, aha!

Whilst many BlackBerrians were berating Kevin for being a ‘sell out’ online, the true genius of what he was up to became apparent as word spread of his transaction.

Within seconds Apple’s share price went into freefall as Wall Street gave THEIR verdict on why someone would even contemplate paying that much for an iPhone when it is so badly overpriced without the gold to begin with.

CBK Apple Shares

You see?

Kevins plan, like any good BlackBerrian all along, was to highlight the fact that there aren’t any real queues for the iPhone 6 and that the demand has been so overstated that upon his revelation the share price plummeted.

Bet those of you who got annoyed feel a bit silly now, huh?


Bigglybobblyboo is a legend almost nowhere at all. He is a founder member of UTB and spends his spare time taking out his anger at the world with a fishfork and a spatula. He is also a Cribbage Master, having won 1 fight online as the other guy refused to turn up out of fear for his life.