Apple’s Crowning Achievement


We give Apple a lot of flack around here. After all, they make it quite easy. Constantly spouting off about innovation as they produce the same phone year after year. Having huge events when they add ‘new’ tech to their phones that we have had on ours for the last 2-3 years. Running out to patent things that they didn’t invent and that others have been using for… well, it feels like forever with most things that they steal patent.

Yes, they really do make it too easy. You can’t really expect us to be quiet and not make fun of it can you? Come on now. My name’s not Kevin.

But at some point, Apple will do something that will give us pause. Apple will invent/create/produce something that makes us say ‘wow, that really happened?’

We’ve reached that point.

And it’s not what you think.

We’re not talking about their patent for a flexed phone, no, others beat them to that, and did it on purpose, while Apple’s patent was probably just a response to their accidental bendy phone. We’re not talking about their touch display that will measure the amount of force used, which leaves me wondering how well it will actually work on shattered iPhone screens. And we’re surely not talking about the expected 2 GB of memory on the upcoming S model. One would have to be quite simple to be excited about Apple adding old tech to their phones. Again.

No, we’re talking about the pinnacle of Apple innovation.  When we heard of this evolutionary leap (hey, who else is excited about the BlackBerry Leap!?) for Apple, we had to pause. They produced something that really made us say ‘wow, that happened?’


This week, Apple was granted a patent for a lanyard. A lanyard to, y’know, hold on to your iPhone. Or iPod.

It actually makes a lot of sense, iToys are very fragile, so users should have some method to keep from dropping them. And iPhones are bendy, so can’t be placed in pockets. If only there was some way to attach the phone to the user for everyone’s safety! Well, thanks to Apple’s new patent. There is! Kudos Apple!




BlackBerry Elite Founder & Owner of UTB Blogs and UTB Geek. When I'm not talking or writing about BlackBerry, you'll find me using my BlackBerry.

  • Robert

    Apple should be making rockets for NASA. With their innovations team, perhaps we’d finally be able to land on the moon. Oh wait…

  • ray689

    Lol this actually happened? Can’t wait for the media to take this and run with it as they praise the greatness of Apple. Those should be some hilarious segments.

  • Robert

    I just love one of the reviews.

    “feels cheap, dont waste your money
    1.0 out of 5 stars
    it broke in a month of use. I aint wasting $10 so it can happen again. It splits and than rips, this loop puts apple to shame. Apple is suppose to have superior quality like the macbook pro since its expensive not dollar store quality”

    Talk about priceless locco_smiley_33

  • Robert

    And yet here we have a typical iSheep. It breaks easily but the person will just go and buy another one.

    “Not as durable as one would think
    3.0 out of 5 stars
    My original strap broke after only 3 months. It fits perfectly and helps a lot when lil hands are using it. The leather isn’t durable enough to withstand the wear and tear long term. My daughter broke it when pulling it out of my purse by the strap guess I’ll buy another one.”


  • jrohland

    Apple as usual looking out for their customers. You hold your toy with the strap which breaks so your device falls on a carpet and shatters. Then you get to buy another with more memory. If only every company would treat their customers as well.


    You guys are so cynical!

    Just wait for the new ‘ i-strap2’.

    IT’S NEW!
    NOW ONLY $147.37 (U.S.D.)
    AVAILABLE IN GOLD ( $2,137.00 U.S.D.)
    ( may not fit all wrists)

  • Canuckvoip

    “Inspired by 50 Shades of Grey, the new and improved iLash will totally transform your boring old everyday lanyard experience into a thrilling and exciting leather bound frolick!”.

    Don’t delay, get yours today!
    Whip it good!


    Great, so your iPhone is on fire and you can’t throw it away.

  • Wow! What iNnovation! I need to switch to Apple now!

    “It just works.” And I’m assuming a retail price of a mere $99.99 per strap. Do they come in different colors?