Apple Unleashes Incredible New Feature… The Trackpad


Like that one. In the middle there.

Yes, it’s excitement aplenty over at Apple as iNnovation strikes again. Cupertino is veritably quaking from the celebratory parties being held as they have cracked the imponderable.

And made some use of the stupid Home Button.

According to BGR and Business Insider Apple have been granted a patent that will allow iPhonians to grab a slice of 2009. This incredible piece of technology (please read in a deep male voice in front of a brilliant white background) will allow iUsers to:

Scroll around the screen.

Although BGR put it much better:

Apple envisions a dynamic iOS home button that would present users with more granular input options and more. The patent details an iOS home button capable of detecting various gestures along with the force of each touch. In other words, imagine Force Touch, albeit applied to the home button as opposed to the device’s display. With such functionality enabled, users in some instances would be able to more efficiently manipulate data and more easily navigate through different interfaces. And with gestures already an integral part of the iOS user experience, it only makes sense to flesh out such functionality by adding gesture support to the home button as well.


Scroll around the screen.

Oh, and tap on it to select stuff.


Meanwhile Business Insiders pants were getting decidedly moist at the very thought of such a new, amazing possible feature:

The patent application, published on Thursday, describes a system in which you could use the iPhone’s fingerprint sensor to actually navigate your phone.

Really? Actually NAVIGATE AROUND WITH IT????

Wow. These Apple guys are GOOD!

And to show just how amazing they really are, Business Insider presented us with a very fancy picture of what could be possible in this brave new world.

Imagine you’re playing a game that requires you to aim. Instead of pressing and dragging on the screen, you could rotate your thumb on the home button to adjust your aim, in turn preventing your fingers from obscuring what you’re looking at on your screen.


It’s too much! Make it stop, make it stop!

Of course, this being a patent, it could be a couple of years before it makes it’s way to the iPhone. So it’ll be gratifying to see them catch up to 2009 – in 2017.

Whatever will the scamps think of next?

A touch enabled physical keyboard you can scroll on perhaps?

Roll on 2025!


Bigglybobblyboo is a legend almost nowhere at all. He is a founder member of UTB and spends his spare time taking out his anger at the world with a fishfork and a spatula. He is also a Cribbage Master, having won 1 fight online as the other guy refused to turn up out of fear for his life.