Apple IS BEST! Apple Say So!


I was reminded of the above quote the other day as I entered into a conversation with an iPhonian. It’s one you will recognise as one which usually you DO NOT START but ends in pretty much the same way every time.

You see, iPhonians are SO SURE that what they have is the ‘BEST’ that when confronted with the fact that, in smartphone terms, it is the ‘WORST’ this generally makes their head pop a bit. Especially since it’s usually they who start the conversation with a self-confident sneer. Here’s how it went…


I recently, through work, managed to persuade a couple of reluctant iPhonians to join BBM. This has not been an easy task, it’s been something I’ve asked them to do for a while as, knowing their organisation as I do, they would benefit greatly from it. But, it being a BlackBerry product, they have fought against it until, eventually, they agreed to ‘give it a go’.

An hours crash course later and a Group set up later and… they love it! And yes, they are now setting up BBM Groups to utilise Chat, Pics, Lists and Events in their own organisation. Shame it took 6 months, but there you go.

However, one thing remains… the dead hand of Apple.

In our Group that we set up for them to use as a test another member has recently got himself a Passport. He posted that he was looking forward to switching to it when he got it home. As you would expect, I was congratulating him on his purchase and then one of the iPhonians said…

‘A BlackBerry? That’s just saaaaaaaaad! I had a BlackBerry up until 2 years ago, crap as a smartphone!’

Now, dear reader, if you know me you may think this may have been a red rag to a bull.

You’d be right.

‘Erm, what’s sad about that? It’s not like he’s getting an iPhone?’

‘Well, my BlackBerry was crap. As a phone it was ok, as a smartphone it was kak!’

I then went into a quick rant about how they had missed out on the new BlackBerry’s and that I was sorry they hadn’t had chance to try them. How they wiped the floor with iPhones in terms of battery life, signal (at least 2 bars more on a Z30/Passport) and the Hub that means I don’t play Hokey Cokey every time I wanted to see what messages I had. How, with my Passport I have 160GB of storage, can run pretty much any app I fancy and can pull files from my PC regardless of where I am.

‘Oooooh! Look at you!’

‘Listen, I’ve only just got started…’

At which point she backed down and said she would keep an open mind. Yeah, right.

In the meantime I had posted this picture, just to prove a point since she started it. It’s of a Z30 next to an iPhone – same network. Z30 5 bars of signal, iPhone 2 blobs.

Z30 vs iPhone 5S

‘Well, that’s all very interesting but it’s a well known fact that signal meters on phones are a load of bunkum. Everyone has known that since Apple revealed it with the iPhone 4.’

Yes. She said it.

So, as you would expect, I helped her out.

‘Ah yes, Rubberbandgate. You mean a bit like this too? Apple’s Signal Strength In iOS7 Will Lie To You In A Whole New Way


Meanwhile I had also loaded the following battery pic:

Passport Battery

‘Yeah, yeah, that proves nothing because you don’t have any apps.’

So I counted them up.

‘I have 162 and mine actually close when I shut them’.


Here’s the point of all this.

I didn’t start this argument. I didn’t ask this iPhonian to tell me or my colleague that owning a BlackBerry was ‘saaaaaaaad’. And, to be fair to this certain iPhonian, she din’t do what some of them do in response to facts that they thought they would win hands down on and and say the immortal:

‘Don’t know why you are getting so personal, IT’S JUST A PHONE’

Whoever you are who keeps saying that, you just keep saying it to yourself.

In the meantime, to those iPhonians who come up against the shock that THINK they are in possession of the most amazing technological marvel known to man, only to find that they have paid an absolute fortune for something that is WAAAAYYYY behind everything else…

Listen to the words of the man who sold the greatest lies in history:

‘Propaganda works best when those who are being manipulated are confident they are acting of their own free will’

Then do the rest of us a favour.

Shut up…

Enjoy the limitations of your iToy whilst everyone else zooms past you…

And quietly come #BackToBlack when you can.



Bigglybobblyboo is a legend almost nowhere at all. He is a founder member of UTB and spends his spare time taking out his anger at the world with a fishfork and a spatula. He is also a Cribbage Master, having won 1 fight online as the other guy refused to turn up out of fear for his life.