A smug man with Apples for brains.

IPhones for all... cause its all I got.
IPhones for all… cause its all I got.

The Magenta Madman is at it again and this time he is bringing a whole bushel of Apples. For his next trick, CEO John Legere, will unveil is “un-carrier 5” deal and let customers or potential customers test drive their baby LTE network. What do they get to test drive you might be asking yourself? What else besides a shiny new Apple iPhone 5s. That’s right folks, step right up and see for yourself what overstocked inventory looks like. For seven days, you to can have a phone that can’t do anything on its own and needs developers to hold its hand in this big bad world. But can you blame the guy?

Its all he has…

You see, John is going to sprout a lot of numbers during his “big event” but one number that you wont hear is the number of phones you can select from. Their selection of phones is, well… crap.

BlackBerry kicked them to the curb like a bad habit, so you wont be seeing the next line of beautiful and fantastic BlackBerry phones at T-Mobile. They don’t have any nice Windows Phones. The best you can get from Microsoft is a 521 or a 925. Didn’t they know that Nokia makes a phone that has 41 megapixels? And the Androids they do have are the boring ones that EVERYONE else has. You know, the Samsung twins and whatever LG and the failing HTC is making, and then a bunch of crazy old and out dated android phones that no one buys.

So John has put all of his eggs… excuse me, Apple’s in a basket and is hoping to ride this sour apple all the way to moneyville. But what John hasn’t realized yet is that the only people that still use iPhones is him and teenage girls… and a couple of douche bags that would pay $1500 and still pop their collars.

So go ahead and let them try your LTE network and an iPhone.

I hope is squashes any curiosity this “would be” costumer might have about your network and phone choices. Because at the end of the day you still have crappy phones, crappy coverage and above all else…no BlackBerry.

Oh John, you're not a teenage girl...
Oh John, you’re not a teenage girl…