Reverend Grim Preaches – The First Year…

Hello there my beloved congregation, its good to be back in the seat of office and speaking to you all!

The last few weeks have been a bit hard on the old bones I’m sorry to say, I spend a few days away with Mrs Grim and the Grimlets only to get attacked by an irate iPhonian!

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There I was driving down the road when an elderly gent stepped out in front of me, I hit my brakes and stopped where as the iDiot behind decided to use me to brake instead of using his brakes, we got out, we exchanged insurance details and then he said he had best ring his dad… out came the iPhone, out came the Z10. I phoned my insurance company and got chatting to them while he was crying to Daddy – for about 5 minutes because…

His battery went flat.

No, I’m not kidding. And no, I didn’t touch it.

Then he asked if we could go 50/50 on the insurance, his reasoning? Because I shouldn’t have come to such an abrupt halt in front of him! Well, I told my insurance guy what he said. Oh, did we laugh! The police turned up, had words with the young lad and I went on my way to try and enjoy my last few days…

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How time flies!

But anyway, enough of my bad fortune and onto my good fortune! The 2nd of March 2014 was a momentous day here at the United Temple of BlackBerry (or as Brother Brad keeps trying to call it ‘United Through BlackBerry’, I’m going to have to have words!) I posted my first blog! http://utbblogs.com/announcements/reverend-grim-is-here/

That’s right a full year! And I’m sorry to my channel subscribers for making some of them panic when I said it was my last day… I actually meant it was my last day of the first year with UTB!

So, What have we seen this past 12 months?

Well, quiet a lot really, we have bashed some iPhonians and Androidians, we have had run ins with some rather pompous journalists (all be it ex ones that are so crapple biased even they can’t see the truth when it is slammed in their faces! Good job Brother BigglyBobblyBoo!) Friendships have been made and trolls have been outed, we’ve converted some sheeple and fandroids, we have seen some amazing updates to our handsets that haven’t needed us to delete all our apps and photo’s etc to get because we don’t have 8/16gb of internal memory and no removable memory, we have seen BlackBerry go from strength to strength with BES, BBM, QNX and IOT. We have seen some amazing new and innovative handsets released, and profits made when all the press etc said BlackBerry was a dead company. We even saw, Thanks to the BBC, that Apples lies are rife, lives are at risk and the planet is being destroyed in order to make the (for some reason) iConic iPhone!

So what haven’t we seen in the past 12 months?

For starters 5 fixes to our latest update within a few days, we haven’t seen the mentality of certain media outlets and (so called) journalists change, we haven’t seen the carriers across the world pull their heads out of Tim cook’s behind or bow down to Google, we haven’t seen other so called BlackBerry fansites tell the truth or say sorry when mistakes are made (We admitted when we were wrong, and really, we were sorta right seeing as the Classic got the update) we haven’t seen iNnovation from Apple even though the press says that they are the most iNnovative mobile company out there…

We haven’t seen BlackBerry hacked either! Come on you sickly sweet operating system, come on you overly expensive, lying, cheating and not so iNnovative company… Let’s hear you say that!

Something else we haven’t seen here at the United Temple, that’s Undbiter’s ears! Very strange that!

The most important thing though, the biggest and best thing I personally have seen in this past year is you, my congregation of avid BlackBerry users coming back day after day, week after week and bringing with you others that are now spreading the good word, you are the ones that have made my past year at the Temple worthwhile and happy!

So, to all of you, old and new…

I thank you for these past 12 months, and I hope that you will all join me over the next 12 months to fight the good fight, bring more sad and disillusioned users of inferior handsets into the Temple, all in all, FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT!

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Until next time don’t forget @CRAPPLEBASHING – C000117D3 – utbblogs.com/forum

I’m off to rest my back and enjoy a slice of anniversary cake!

Rev Grim is outta here! (Slowly and in pain but outta here all the same!)

 

Reverend Grim

Who is Reverend Grim? Not many people know. He has a channel on BBMC C000117D3 where he smites the rotten Apple. He has a photographic channel too C0045B753 seeing as he's actually a photographer. All we know is that he preaches the safe, secure word... BLACKBERRY and BB10! He will welcome anyone #BacktoBlack and into the United Temple of BlackBerry for a sermon and a cup of tea, even Brad who doesn't understand a word he says!

  • Bigglybobblyboo

    A year! My God!

    • Reverend Grim

      I know! You lot would have been let of earlier for shop lifting!

  • Anthony

    The guy was probably texting while driving.

    This website is a real BlackBerry fan site. A media iSheep like “Charles (the Douche) Arthur” comes here and we shear him. locco_smiley_10

    • Reverend Grim

      Highly likely, he was only about 19, lucky it wasn’t the other way round… me hitting him, he’d have really know known about it!
      We shear them ok… I do it with my scythe!

  • veeru789

    Congratulations Rev. Look forward for many more preachings.

    • Reverend Grim

      You will get them! You can’t keep the good Rev down!

  • Blackjack

    Happy anniversary Rev!
    Love the sermons keep them coming unto eternity! Live long and prosper! Or in your case…

  • Blackjack

    And true to your words:

    is this the end to my rant?

    HELL NO! I’VE ONLY JUST STARTED!

    • Reverend Grim

      Only just started? I’m warming up! God help the unbelievers this year! Having hell to pay would be a picnic in comparison!
      Live long and prosper, all of you my amazing congregation!

  • TRUENORTH

    “Peace and long life.” Rev.

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