Just How Much Fleecing Can Apple Users Take?

conman

Earlier on today I watched a Bloomberg interview and it was a perfect example of the Cult of iPhonia at it’s incredulous best.

This time, instead of our resident iDiot as the ‘expert’, Bloomberg West (they’re over in California) wheeled out Brian Marshall, Snr MD of ISI Strategy & Investment. Here’s Brians credentials according to his ISI bios page:

BRIAN MARSHALL is a Senior Managing Director, heads ISI’s Technology Team, and is ISI’s IT Hardware and Data Networking Analyst. Brian spent the last 15 years conducting fundamental research on the technology sector from both a buy-side and sell-side perspective. In 2010, StarMine recognized Brian as a top 5 overall earnings estimator out of 1,800+ publishing analysts.

Impressive stuff!

But, you get Brian on the subject of  the new iPhone 6 and his eyes glaze over as the cult of iPhonia programming kicks in.

It’s… going… to… sell… MILLIONS.

And the smartphone market is DOMINATED by Apple – a fact we have already highlighted is absolute rubbish in our article BlackBerry Doubles Market Share In US – Apple Down 25%.

Nope. It’s not.

Still, once you get past that, Brian will tell you all about the iPhone 6’s impressive new features!

There’s a larger screen, a bigger battery and iOS8.

So, the only real difference is that, er, there’s a larger screen.

On the subject of the battery life all these ‘technology experts’ have a good old chuckle about how poor the iPhone 5S’s battery is (Brian’s is down to 50% so he’d probably come off charge an hour earlier) whilst not mentioning the fact that the iPhone 6 will be powered (if that’s the word) by an 1800 mAh battery – roughly similar to a Z10 battery.

To give you a comparison the Z30 has a 2880 mAh battery, that’s the one that lasts 2 days. The iPhone 6 will, if it is lucky, make it until lunchtime.

And iOS8 is a dogs breakfast in shiny wrapping paper.

The bit that is REALLY laughable is that Brain and co actually have a little giggle at how they were fleeced the LAST time with the iPhone 5S upgrade! How nothing changed! How pitiful the battery is! How it was the same phone as the iPhone 5!

But this one is one to be proud of, it’s the SAME PHONE BUT A BIT BIGGER!

And, when quizzed on what iNnovations Apple have come up with he mumbles something about how it seems to be impossible to innovate and there’s no need as everyone will buy one anyway as it’s an iPhone blah, blah, blah.

Here, watch it for yourself…

Even the title is a joke.

Bloomberg – Bigger Screen And Improved Battery Life – iPhone 6

And all this got me to thinking.

Brian is obviously an intelligent man. I suspect that on ANY OTHER SUBJECT you would find him lucid, intelligible and knowledgeable.

But get him on the subject of a new iPhone release and he gets glassy eyed, sports THAT silly little smile iPhonians get in the run up to selling their souls all over again, finds ANY excuse to make the lack of ANY sort of value worthwhile (HE ACTUALLY EXCUSES THEM IN THE INTERVIEW) and, I suspect, probably suppresses the desperate urge to have a wee.

Although I can’t confirm the last one.

Apple are now, as the title picture suggests, making money from nothing. It’s a laudable skill, but can only be sustained for so long.

Because, once the Brain’s of this world discover just how much they have paid to be so far behind and that they HAVEN’T got the best, they’ve got an iPhone the fall will be hard and fast. Customers like Brian will turn very swiftly against the company they showed SO MUCH brand loyalty to when they eventually work out it hasn’t been repaid.

So, in answer to the question, how much fleecing can Apple users take? Well, try it for yourself.

Next time you meet an iPhonian say to them ‘Wow! You still have an iPhone?’ and you’ll hear their disappointment as they reel off what they don’t like about it (which is the basics – battery life, ability to make a call, messaging is a disaster etc).

Are the hard core ready to change?

Not yet.

But if the iPhone 6 is just the same phone with the same crap in a different skin than the iPhone 5S and the iPhone 5 before it…

This could well be the straw that breaks the camels back.

And then, would you believe, we’ll see Brian on Bloomberg sporting his new BlackBerry Passport with it’s 3 day battery and telling the world that, although he loved Apple (past tense), it was time to move on.

Bigglybobblyboo

Bigglybobblyboo is a legend almost nowhere at all. He is a founder member of UTB and spends his spare time taking out his anger at the world with a fishfork and a spatula. He is also a Cribbage Master, having won 1 fight online as the other guy refused to turn up out of fear for his life.

  • Reverend Grim

    That’s the truth of it! Hopefully it won’t be long and we will have the doors of the Temple thrown open to the sheeple wanting to convert!

  • ray689

    The expert brain washing errr marketing has been so effective that even intelligent people look like children in a all you can eat free candy store when they talk about the Iphone. It’s laughable how clueless some people are.

  • G-bone

    Huzzah!!
    Biggly, it has never been put better!

    #ProBlackBerry

  • jojo beaconsfield

    One good thing is that there will be comparisons made to the Awesome Z30,and I guess BB wins,again.

  • BB Racer !!

    I have Apple insider or should I say spiced up cider information on how iPhone users maintain their battery life !
    Besides keeping it charged up, they just try not to use the phone, they also save battery life by powering off the phone then they do this God given annoying task of swiping up to close the 15 to 20 active frames, then they check and use their phone. And if the battery records a 50% and they have to power use the phone…well 50% segments down to 30% in minutes !…my my my iPhone !

  • miker476

    And the masses will dutifully toe the iLine as expected.

  • xBURK

    Hilarious.

  • Robert

    I laughed my ass off with the interview. They’re actually expecting to sell millions because they know their loyal iDiots will go out and buy it just to say they have a new iPhone. This is incredible but what’s more amazing is that the sheeple know this yet still go out and buy it.

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