Android Boldly Goes… Nowhere

Lock Screen Looks Familiar...
Lock Screen Looks Familiar…

Look everyone! The Samsung Galaxy 6!

Oh.

Yes, soon enough Samsung’s next great hope will be hitting the carriers (who will, of course, lap it up to begin with) but what can we expect to see from the company that rose to greatness from nothing in the smartphone world?

Well, to find out I headed on over to Android Central where I found revolution in the air!

You see, the Samsung Galaxy 6 brings the following innovations…

None.

The SG6 has improved the Galaxy line up in the following ways:

1) It has no expandable SD memory. At all.
2) It comes in 32GB, 64GB and 128GB flavours.
3) They have made 2. A Galaxy 6 and a Galaxy 6 Edge.
4) It runs the 2012 OS Lagalot (or ‘Lollipoop’ as I now understand Androidians refer to it)

This is ENTIRELY DIFFERENT to the iPhone 6 where:

1) It has no expandable SD memory. At all.
2) It comes in 32GB, 64GB and 128GB flavours.
3) They made 2. An iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus.
4) It runs the 2012 Apple Watch promo iOS 8.2

In thread after thread Androidia is in ferment. Try as they might to whip up excitement for their new flagship, Phil and Jerry over there keep hitting the same brick wall in comments. The Androidians don’t like it. They don’t like it at all.

But, there’s another new kid on the block.

Yup, you guessed it, the ultra slippy HTC Mate M9! Yes, taking slippiness to a great new level, HTC have decided that it’s important that they build on the success of so many M8’s dropping to the floor and breaking with ease and made something that looks like Spock’s coffin about to shoot off into space.

Only trouble is, it’ll be your phone shooting off from your hand to the tarmac.

Let’s be fair, a company who decides in their big promotional video that their HUGEST MOST MASSIVE FEATURE IS…

Better Selfies In Low Light

Really has pretty much run out of ideas too.

But wait! If you don’t want your HTC to fall from your grasp you could always get the amazing HTC dot matrix case! It shows you the WEATHER! And the TIME!!

1980’s style!!

htc-one-m9-dot-view-1

Oh dear.

I think the whole direction of where Android is headed is summed up by this very headline on the Android Central carousel:

‘The SG6 – Slightly Browner Than Before’

Dull, dull, dull…

Are you an Androidian looking for a bit of excitement in your life?

Are you sick of being stuck in 2012?

Do you long for a modern smartphone with expandable memory up to 128 GB and an OS that is actually going places?

With a company that doesn’t just produce airy-fairy slabs of cheap plastic and expect you to lap it up on an outdated Operating System?

Forget ‘Root It!’

Buy a BlackBerry.

Bigglybobblyboo

Bigglybobblyboo is a legend almost nowhere at all. He is a founder member of UTB and spends his spare time taking out his anger at the world with a fishfork and a spatula. He is also a Cribbage Master, having won 1 fight online as the other guy refused to turn up out of fear for his life.

  • ray689

    Samsung may have to make a big decision about the direction they go real soon and given their like for enterprise and iot, what better way to go than to have QNX based BB10

  • Blackjack

    “Slippiness” bwahaha!!

  • Anthony

    Really, the S6 has no removable SD card slot!

    The removable micro SD card slot in my Passport is a huge asset. E.g transferring a 150 MB file takes 10 seconds when I put the micro SD card into my desktop computer.

    I’m hoping the upcoming Passport 2 or the Titan have 2 micro SD card slots, one easily accessible from the outside.

    • Bigglybobblyboo

      Nope, no SD card slot at all. It’s quite funny watching a minority of Androidians defending it by saying ‘use the Cloud’!

  • bartron

    I didn’t realize that Samsung would regress the S6. I knew there wouldn’t be much new in it, but I didn’t think they would remove key features, especially the expandable storage.

  • Stereotactic

    It’s the hoarse cry of a dying company. Samsung is loosing money on its galaxy shit. Running out of ideas? Nah. They didn’t have any to begin with.

  • jrohland

    A big thanks to Biggs for the extreme sacrifice of spending time among the whining children to bring us this news. I would not be able to stomach the torture of Android Central.

  • Trev

    Why anyone would choose to buy a “media-oriented**” device without expandable memory is beyond me. With cellphone service providers no longer offering unlimited data, each time their cloud is accessed is data used.

    So not only are the people paying for a device with non-expandable memory, they also get to pay to access the data that they are unable to store on the device.

    I don’t understand it.

    **To clarify why I stated the Samsung as a “media-oriented” device, BlackBerry still has a stigma with many that they are unable to be used as a media device; often stating a lack of apps or a poor camera.
    Meanwhile, the Z30 still has the best speakers on the market, followed closely by the Passport, screen resolution on all of the recent BlackBerry devices are at the very least competitive with the market (as in the Z3) or better, the camera and photo editor on BB10 is very good, and the app market is huge compliments to access via BBWorld or any of the Android apps, and lastly, with expandable memory to store all of the photos/videos you make and music stored! **

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